Be the person you want to be

Are you the person you want to be? Are you happy with how you are putting yourself out there to the world? Find out how my recent travels have helped me figure out more about being the person that I want to be!

So let me start by saying thank you to all my followers and those that are spreading word about the blog! My aim – to get my story out there and help people with what I have learnt about positive living and mental health, is starting to get out there. So I thank you for all your continued support! But with that comes the challenge of keeping people regularly updated, and I apologise that I haven’t posted in over a month… BUT I can happily say that I have been working on a few things behind the scenes, including writing a book about my story and how I changed my life. So my posts may be a little less frequent at the moment however I can tell you it’s all for an awesome cause, and I want you to keep spreading word of the blog and how it may have helped you. I am putting so of my story and effort into the book that I know it will help everyone change their lives, including mind! So thanks for all your messages and comments of support, it has given me the confidence to start writing the book 😀

Anyway! With my life being so busy at the moment (who’s life isn’t busy these days), I was wanting to find a topic to talk about that would best describe where I am at. And right now I am in Perth, Australia for 1 week for work, and a short holiday. I have been flown out for work later in the week, but I asked work if I could come out earlier to enjoy Perth and check out a few of their cool beaches, food and nightlife. Within only 24 hours of arriving it came to me that I wanted to right about being the person I want to be, and how travel has helped me remember to always strive to be the person you want to be. Whether you get there or not doesn’t really matter, but what is important is that you are being true to yourself and can look in the mirror and say you are happy with who you are. So let’s find out more about why I am writing this post.

Why am I writing about being the person you want to be

So whenever I go away on my own I always try and stay in a hostel so I can meet other people, hear different stories and get the full buzz of why people are staying in this city and what it has to offer. Within only 24 hours of arriving in Perth and staying in the hostel, I realised that I had to write about ‘being the person you want to be’. It started out when I met 1 guy who looked like a cool dude, from England, without much of a care in the world. He had a cool haircut, had a bit of a laugh, and his girlfriend said he was always getting up to no good (in a cheeky way). This guy was here in Australia having a great time, just because he wanted to. He wasn’t trying to impress anybody, and funnily enough, counterintuitively by not trying to impress anyone, well he was impressing me! I thought that he was pretty cool and ironically here I was as the ‘somewhat successful’ business man here on a work trip, recently having completed my masters at uni, and seeming having my life on track, impressed by a guy who said he couldn’t afford not to work the night shift, and had nothing to his name. It is ironic sometimes in that we want what we can’t have and admire what others do have – because even having nothing comes with freedom!

So next I met a couple from Canada who were different to the first guy in that they were ‘successful’ engineers both in their late 20’s, however not conforming to the status quo of settling down with a mortgage and kids etc. They were taking 12 months off to travel Australia and see what the rest of the world had to offer. He was working in a clothes shop and hated it, but it was all worth it to be able to see different parts of Australia and get share the experience with his girlfriend.

That’s when it clicked to me that that both of these groups were ‘being who they wanted to be’. They weren’t giving in to the rules of what they should be, they were doing what they want to do. That is when I asked myself am I being the person I want to be?

Am I the person I want to be?

It’s funny how you think that your life is on track and all going to plan and then something as simple as meeting the above people in a hostel can leave you questioning everything! Ultimately I think that I am the person that I want to be, but there are definitely some changes that I want to make. On a side note this is exactly why I asked work to send me over to Perth earlier then I was needed, because within this 24 hours I have already learnt so much just from being in a different environment and meeting new people! It’s so powerful how just being in a different city can help you realise so much. Maybe it’s because we are taken out of the day to day routines of life including work family and friends that gives us a clear head to be able to see things differently?..

So with my own life I think there are things that I want to change in that I want to be even more free flowing. I mean, I am doing well with certain things in my life, however the constant pressure to do more, be more, do better, earn more, keep up with our new goals – can sometimes wear you down. A lot of this pressure comes from ourselves, but some of it comes from external sources like family, friends, keeping up with the Jones family, media, social media – and the list goes on. But it is up to us to find out where we want to be in life. Just like the guy from England, or the couple from Canada, we need to learn not to accept that we need to be on a certain path, and to make our own path. Sure it might have consequences, but remember that you only have one life, so make sure that you are being the person you want to be. If you want to travel to Europe solo but scared that you won’t have a good time, or meet anyone and be alone, who cares, get on the plane and do it. The self-defeating action of not doing it is much more powerful than the empowering feeling of doing it – even if you have a shit time. At least you can say you’ve done it and will not die wondering!

Why aren’t we always the person we want to be?

Most of the time being who we want to be involves taking ourselves out of our comfort zone. I know this is a challenge, because a lot of other people have accepted that they are not who they want to be and have fit in with what society tells them to be. Or they are oblivious and happy with what society wants them to be. But maybe you are not happy with who you are? Maybe you are kind of happy but there are some things you want to do to change? Either way it is ok. Whether you need to totally revamp your life or just make a few little tweaks, I know you can do it. Find out more about dealing with change by reading my post about change by clicking here! 

Sometimes it’s the status quo that stops us. You know like when we are just on autopilot and going with things as they are, and the next thing you know you wake up 5 years later and realise it is too late to go back and do what you wanted to do. Forget about the status quo. If you want to colour your hair purple and dress like a rock star, then go and do it. You can be who you want to be. Even if you work in a bank and your boss might not like it, if you are good at what you do then I am sure they will learn to live with it. Or you can find a more accepting employer (which might work out for you better in the long run anyway)!

What can we do to start becoming more like the person we want to be?

It is really easy to think about – but more of a challenge to put it into practice. I am guilty of this at times, as sometimes we are in autopilot and forget about some of the things we like about ourselves and lose track of who we want to be. For me, I didn’t fully lose track because I am happy with where I am at, just I now know that there are things I want to work on and change to make me even more like me? If that makes sense? Hah! But yes the only way to be the person you want to be is to find out who that is and go out and start making the changes. Just do it. Start with the smallest step, and move from there. Forget about what society or other people tell you about what you should be and start being the person you want to be. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and go for it, I can guarantee that you will feel empowered and even more special for actually going for it and giving it a go!

Start becoming the person you want to be!

I know that change can be a challenge, but it is important to know that we are doing this for a reason. I spoke with some family about my trip to Perth and a few of them said ‘I could never travel and stay at a hostel on my own’ – person 1, and one of my friends said that ‘they wouldn’t come to Perth earlier before a work trip, what’s the point of that? – person 2’ These are the people that might not be the person they want to be. They are either too scared  and they need to read about how to beat anxiety (the first person), or too boring / in line with the status quo (person 2). Are you guilty of being like either of those people at times? I know that I have been guilty of it for sure, however I am working on being who I want to be! Find out who you want to be and embrace that person. Like I said in my other post, be your own best friend and treat yourself to whatever it is that you want.

As for me, I am now off to check out some of Perth’s best beaches and enjoy the sunshine! Looking forward to some time on the sand, enjoying a few cocktails and relaxing for most of the weekend. This is exactly what I wanted to help leave me feeling refreshed and recharged – ready for work later next week; and also to continue writing my new book which will hopefully be something that helps us all change our lives! Maybe you can find a way to give yourself some time to refresh and recharge, ready for the new changes that you want to make? Thanks again for reading, liking, commenting and sharing my posts, it means a lot to me and all the best on your journey of positive living!

About the author – Stef – Positive Living and Mental Health Advocate

Stef is a positive living and mental health advocate who dedicates much of his free time to improving his own and others mental health. Click here to have a read about Stef’s story and why he is so passionate about mental health, wellness and positive living.

 

6 thoughts on “Be the person you want to be

  1. Daisy Lu

    It is not always very easy to walk outside our safety zoom. I have been challenging myself and pushing myself a bit hard in order to get the where I want to be in both work and life. That is not easy. Sometimes, you really don’t need to think too much but just do the things and don’t miss out the opportunities. It is hard because you worry about you might make a wrong decision, misunderstand and refuse by other people for your moves.

    I guess life is about balance all things together. It is easier than guys to travel alone compared with girls lol. I do 100% agree we should do the things we enjoy, otherwise we might regret later on.

    I did it a few times when I was much younger. I really hope I can do it again and escape from my current life ;p

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comments Daisy and sharing your story. I think sometimes we need to let go of the worries or concerns we have and just go for it. You mentioned about worrying about the wrong decision – the only way you can find out if it was the wrong decision or not is by making the decision to do it. And with international womens day last week, women have come so far, something like travelling solo as a woman may have some challenges but I am sure you can do it. Where I was staying there were many girls who travelled on there own, I know you can do it. Keep up the great work 😀

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  2. Sophie

    I really loved this post and so many aspects I have thought about myself lately. I am a person who hates change and often would live in a comfort zone.
    I also saw life witb set requirement that you work, get a job, get married and settle down.
    This was more society pressure than my own.
    Well I have now decided now I am 35 and when I am 80 I don’t want to have regrets.
    So I left a permanent teaching job which I found no longer fufilling, unappreciated and was tired of it!
    I have now moved to working in a government role and am doing my post grad in HR. I don’t care what others think as this is my life. I respect their own life choices but if I decide to take a different path then no one needs to get it but me.
    I have loved the change and the freedom it has given me.
    Later this year after a 7 year relationship ended I am taking new steps. I am going to go way out of my comfort zone and travel alone overseas. Which it is scary but if you don’t push yourself you end up in the same spot.
    I do find things challenging as my anxiety can be very much a full time job. But I won’t let it win!
    I have a great support network and they have helped me to build my confidence and get back to a stage where I feel I can achieve whatever I set my mind to.
    Not everyday is easy and some are just horrible. But changing careers, I do not look back!
    My managers are amazing and I actually feel appreciated after 10 years of feeling like a punching bag by parents, principals and children. There was no support and I really lost the passion.
    Now I love what I am studying and going to Uni and venturing into unknown waters but I get so much that I am studyinf due to life experience.
    The change has led to a whole new outlook on life. I feel a sense of freedom that’s for sure.
    Not everyone has understood my journey but it is not theirs, it is mine!
    It was hard to make a change but when people support you to take that step it makes a huge difference. But I am doing this for myself more than anyone else. My own personal happiness is more important then what others think or how they think it should be.
    I enjoy life so much more! I am trusted and able to work with people who genuinely appreciate me. I am challenged with work and appreciated.
    In life happiness is so important. It is more important than money or titles. It is being authentic to you that matters. It is challenging looking at yourself and being vulnerable but I am glad I did this.
    There are still steps to take but the first step I believe is a big achievement, whether you tip toe or take small steps. I believe it will be the steps you don’t take that you will regret.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your story Sophie, I really love the changes you have made for yourself! It is not easy given the pressures that society put on us to conform to what everyone else thinks is the right thing to do, so I love that you have gone out and made the changes to what you think are best for you, all the best you legend! PS have you read or watched the movie, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ By Elizabeth Gilbert? Definitely some similarities there and I think you would really enjoy her story. And don’t forget to like this post and share on social media if you can 😀

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      • Sophie

        Hi there,
        It isn’t easy but you do have to live your own life that’s for sure!
        I am an absolute book worm!
        I have read Eat, Pray, Love. I loved the book and how she decided to live her life according to her own beliefs.
        Other great reads on change, taking steps to do it and living your life are by Brene Brown.
        When you read her books they are like a moment you are sharing together. I often have thought she is reading my mind and she gets me!
        Her studies but personal experiences on vulnerability are amazing.
        A very special person who gets change, how challenging it can be but also how rewarding it can be.
        Her Tedx talks are awesome! ☺

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks Sophie great to hear! I thought you might have read Eat Pray Love before 😛 I have never read anything by Brene Brown, I just looked up her books they look really interesting. Thanks for that I will definitely give it a go. Being vulnerable is something I am challenging myself to do more of this year so her books will definitely help. Thanks heaps 🙂

        Like

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