Why am I so Depressed?

Why am I so depressed and what can I do to get better?

You are depressed. For too long you have wondered why you are depressed without understanding why. Check out some of the reasons why most people are depressed and be sure to look into the things you can do to beat it. Together we will learn how to SMASH depression!

You are living in the past

Did something happen that you cannot get over? Holding on to this memory and constantly replaying it will only keep you depressed. We don’t want to try and push the thought out, but we want to find new thoughts and let what happened in the past stay in the past. The past now only exists in your mind and it is time to move on.

You are disappointed that life is not how you think it should be

Wow this was a big one for me. I was envious and jealous of those who were more successful, and disappointed when things didn’t go my way. There is no guarantees in life, and we cannot allow ourselves to set expectations that are unrealistic. If something doesn’t go to plan, move on and set a new goal for you to achieve.

You are comparing yourself to others

Stop comparing yourself to everyone. Someone is going to look better than you. Someone is going to be smarter than you. Someone is going to have a nicer ass than you do. It is just how life is. The moment we stop comparing ourselves to others and what society thinks we should be, the better off our mental health will be. The only person you can compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

You have failed and you see yourself as a permanent failure

Learning to accept failure was another big learning for me. Life is all about failures and learning from them. We cannot expect to go through life with a perfect record of wins and successes – failures are what teach us and help us grow. If you want to live life in your comfort zone without failing every once in a while, then that in itself is a failure. Learn to embrace failure and treat it as a learning that will bring you on to greater success.

You think that depression will last forever

I know that when you are in the dumps, it can seem like it will never end. I know that depression feels like a mountain that it is impossible to climb. But as Confucius said, ‘The man who moves mountains begins by carrying away a few small stones’. Depression is not a life sentence. You can and will recover. Just like the best times in your life, everything comes to an end eventually.

You are not working on your mental health

Yes you are depressed, but what have you done about it? Have you actively pursued ways to beat your depression? Are you working day and night to improve your mind, body and soul? If not, that is great! It means that you have an opportunity to work on yourself and help pull yourself out. This is a perfect segue into what you can do to beat depression…

What Can I do to get Better?

The bad news is that you are depressed. The good news is that there is something you can do about it! Get started on some of the things below right now. You can also check out my self-help book, Redesign Your Mind for more tips on how to improve your mental health. My book is written by a millennial, for millennials and is already helping many people on their journey towards positive mental health. After being released in August 2019, check out what people have had to say about how the book has helped them by clicking here.

Live in the Present

It is time for you to live in the current moment. Whatever happened in the past can stay in the past. Focus on your life minute by minute. Take things one day at a time. You do not have to worry about getting through the next 10 years, just start with one day and do the same tomorrow. Meditate, practice mindfulness and find ways to live in the now.


Ouch. No one wants to spend all day in the gym. Whilst I must admit that I am now keen on yoga, pilates, gym, running and walking – I wasn’t always like that. I know that having an active lifestyle takes time to cultivate, but you need to find the inspiration. Studies show that depression can be reduced by 20% just by exercising for 30 minutes a day. That is huge! Find a way to make it fun and commit to it. Not only will your depression reduce, but you will feel better and stronger, helping with the strength of your mind body connection. You will also look pretty sexy too 😉

Have fun! Laugh! Spend time with your friends and family

Laugh. Put something funny on the TV and have a laugh. Laugh at yourself and the situation you are in. Learn to take life a little less seriously because we are all going to end up dead at the end of it anyway. Find things to do that are genuinely fun. Whatever it is that gives you the slightest enjoyment. When we are depressed we often want to pull away from family and friends, but now is the time to do the opposite. Go out and socialise, spend time with loved ones and feed off of their energy.

See a psychologist

Yea this is a deep one. I know that they cost money and not everyone wants to spill out their story to a psychologist to analyse them, but maybe this is what we need. I can tell you from my own and many others experience that a psychologist (especially one you can relate to) will be invaluable. Just look at them like a personal trainer for your mind!

Show Gratitude & cultivate a positive attitude

Someone once said that you cannot be depressed and grateful at the same time. I believe this. Whilst you won’t snap out of depression immediately, finding things to be grateful for will slowly help you turn the tide. Write down 3 things you are grateful for each morning and night and watch things turn. You have to work on building a positive mindset and seeing the positives in a situation. Find out more about showing gratitude by clicking here.

Get Help

Depression is not easy, but it is important to know that you are not alone. There are heaps of websites and organisations that will help you out. Get help and get better. You need to understand that it is ok to be depressed and it is ok not to be ok.

Yes you are depressed and yes you will get better

Depression is not a life sentence. Depression is a state of mind that you can and will recover from. I believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself. The best time to start believing was yesterday. The second best time is now.

About the author – Stef – Positive Living and Mental Health Advocate

I am a published author with my book, Redesign Your Mind.  I write to help people with their mental health. Through my story I hope to help others on their journey to a positive mindset. Click here to find out more about my book, Redesign Your Mind and how you can order a copy through Amazon. A portion of every sale is donated to mental health organisations to help raise awareness of positive mental health!

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